ESPN to pull announcer named Jeff Van Gundy from games next season to avoid offending viewers

LOS ANGELES — ESPN announced Wednesday morning that in an effort to avoid offending any viewers during the 2017-18 NBA season, it will pull announcer Jeff Van Gundy from all games. The reason is due to the terrible announcing of an individual known as Jeff Van Gundy, who coincidentally happens to be the same person ESPN is pulling from the games.

ESPN did release a brief statement on the matter: “We are living in delicate times this day and age, and Van Gundy’s game-long rants have no place in the world today.”

“Due to Mr. Van Gundy having the same name and being the same person as that announcer, we have chosen to remove him from calling any games for ESPN this year.”

There was mixed reaction from the sports world on the bombshell announcement. Many fans rejoiced at the news, but some thought ESPN was being too politically correct. It was reported that fellow announcer Mike Breen was unhappy with the move, as he must find a new person to have meaningless conversations with during a Knicks vs. Bulls game next season.